


Charter Too: There and Back, Again and Again

by Khalid



Series: Charter [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khalid/pseuds/Khalid
Summary: Post Lord of the RingsA sequel to the events of Charter to the VoidHaldir and Ben both feel a strong connection following their bond over the campfire and wine. Haldir has trouble adjusting to Ben being gone for reasons made obvious when Ben finally does return.Galadriel is scary
Relationships: Ben Solo/Haldir of Lothlórien
Series: Charter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738351
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. GLORFINDEL

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Öiale (Forever)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13094937) by [DefinitelyNotPie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyNotPie/pseuds/DefinitelyNotPie). 
  * Inspired by [Time After Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992804) by [DefinitelyNotPie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyNotPie/pseuds/DefinitelyNotPie). 



> This is a work of fiction and I don’t own the rights to any Lucasfilms characters not any Tolkien characters. That said, if you aren’t familiar with the previous works written by me and my dear friend Definitelynotpie, I’d strongly recommend them first.

Glorfindel stared in confusion at the remains of a campfire. Many confusing signs were all around it. It appeared that Haldir had eaten and drank with a man but where he had come from or gone to was anyone’s guess.

He followed Haldir's tracks to a flet nearby and found the Ellon asleep on the ground. Waking him was difficult, much to his surprise, and the warden’s first word was a groggy, “Ben?”

Glorfindel propped Haldir up against the tree and gave him some water. This for some reason made Haldir giggle for rather a long time. 

“Would you like some water, friend?” He whispered to himself before sipping from Glorfindel's pouch.  
Glorfindel could not tear his eyes away from a shock of hair standing straight up from Haldir's forehead. The rest of his hair had been inexpertly braided in such a fashion as to make him look like a frightened hedgehog.

“What happened to you, Warden?”  
“I miss my friend, Ben.”  
“Who was he? Come tell me of your friend, Haldir” Glorfindel gently pulled Haldir back to the campfire to warm themselves. As Glorfindel stacked the wood, Haldir kept giggling intermittently.

“What is it you find funny now, my friend?”  
“You know how to make a fire…” Haldir chortled. Glorfindel could see he was not going to get any straight answers. He wondered if there was some poison at work, but could think of none that would affect the warden so. Then he noticed Haldir’s wineskin looking rather slack. The wine of the gardens of Dorwinion was strong and left their drinker with pleasant dreams.

Still, Glorfindel could not imagine where Haldir would have imagined a name like Ben, unless he was somehow shortening one of the old ones such as Tom Bombadil. He sat and stared at the fire in deep contemplation as he was wont to do, while Haldir giggled to himself and stared at the sky.

“Glorfindel,” he interrupted the elder’s musings, “When was the last time your brothers braided your hair?” Glorfindel was taken aback by the candid question. Of course he had no brothers, but he understood the implications of the gesture: the bonds of kinship formed in youth between himself, Elrond and a few others now away in the West. How long had it been since he and Elrond had sat down in close kinship? Perhaps an age… certainly far too long.

“Ben braided my hair,” Haldir broke in again to the elder Ellon’s musings, “It was passing strange, but he reminded me of my brothers when they were but children. Such a deep weight he kept in his heart for such a fleeting thing as the love of a girl. And yet… How much difference is there in the love between the Elves and the fleeting love of men and other mortals?”

Glorfindel was shocked by the question: it seemed obvious, but Haldir went on with great sincerity about the deep and painful sense of belonging in such a short lived creature as even a wolf which would bond for life and fight to the death for its packmates. “In truth, we may love longer, but I can see no greater gift between two creatures than all consuming love in a life so short.” Haldir stared deeply into the fire, the effects of the Dorwinion wine seeming to have finally worn off. Glorfindel mused about the profound thoughts in one so young. Though of course comparing the mating habits of wolves to the everlasting love of the Valar was foolish, he applauded the simplicity of acceptance that the younger races in the world were still worthy of admiration.

Yet he felt confusion still at the mention of this strange man (he assumed it was a man who had come to drink with the warden) and prodded Haldir to detail his night. The tale was long, confusing, and woven with things that seemed incredible even to Glorfindel’s many years. 

“Tell me of this sword made of light,” he would say, or “How did he arrive in the belly of a flying dragon!?” And the answers were just as impossible as the original commentary had made them sound. Eventually, he had picked apart every moment of Haldir’s night, as far as the Ellon could recollect, and had exhausted all the possibilities his years could provide. 

“What then do you plan to do now, Warden?” He asked.

“I return to my duties… but I shall await the return of one so profoundly charged with purpose.”  
Haldir turned his gaze to the elder Ellon.  
“As thought provoking as Ben’s visit to our world was…” he gestured helplessly at the hedgehog perched on his head, “It would do no good to appear to the other wardens in this way. Would you be willing to aid me in righting this?”

Glorfindel laughed heartily, “Indeed, young warden! Although you may cause a stir at the council should you report in this fashion!” he chided jovially. 

They made their way to the riverbank where Haldir patiently sat while Glorfindel teased the braids out of his hair. The sun was fully at its zenith before the last of his strands were eased into a more suitable style in the fashion of the wardens and the Ellons of Rivendell. 

As he took his leave of the young warden, Glorfindel paused in consideration. “Haldir, please take these words to heart: should you ever need an ear to hear your musings, a heart to lie your burdens upon, or shoulders to carry you, please come to me. It would be a great honor for me to consider you among my friends.”

Haldir was struck speechless. Consider Glorfindel his friend? And it to be an honor for HIM!? One of the elders? He could only dumbly nod, and as Glorfindel left, he wondered just how the elders thought of the youngest of them.

Haldir returned to his fire: the sight of it causing him an unexpected giggle… and looked up at the bright blue sky. He saw a flash of light off a tiny sliver in the upper clouds. Was it Ben? But he would have no reason to return this shortly after leaving. Or would he?


	2. Hop, Hop, Hop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben flails. Will he get where he needs to go?

Ben had finished his training with Rey and they accomplished their mission but he just had to keep moving.

Had to find that backwater planet.

With the Elfs.

Had to. Couldn’t rest.

Had to know if it really happened.

His wrist burned where the locket of hair was tied. He had found it on the last waking and remembering the lightsaber incident, he assumed it was Haldir’s. 

Was he just imagining it?

It was the only thing that remained constant during that paradox.

It had to mean something.

But what? And where even was the planet?

No one seemed to have ever heard of it. He’d gone as far as the outer rim.

He didn’t have precise coordinates, and there were enough remnants of the Empire around that they might ruin his little backwater planet.

He couldn’t let that happen.

He had to find them himself.

What was one hop beyond the rim in comparison to all the travel he’d done so far? Obviously he’d done it before. There was nowhere else to search. 

Perhaps it was there… beyond the outer rim, beyond the last planets… beyond certainty of return.

How desperate had he been back then? To find an end to it?

He vividly remembered the feeling of desperation. No matter what scenario his training with Rey brought about, nothing compared to the memories seared into his brain by Snoke.

Things started to seem hopeless, and while he knew he would regret it for the rest of his life if he gave up, he just didn’t have any leads. 

Until he felt a faint pull of the Force. There was a rumor of a galaxy out past the rim, here where the pull was strongest. Ben spent some weeks there, torn between going past no return and the certainty of regret. 

“Would you like some water, melon?” The clear voice and laughing face burned in his mind waking Ben from a fitful sleep. His decision was made. Whatever happened next, he couldn’t wait around and waste his life wondering. The pull was strongest here, and Ben went for it.

As he went past the next hop - a useless asteroid with a surprisingly pure water glacier on one side, things started to look familiar. He followed the pull of the force until the planet came into view. His heart was pounding, so much time had passed. Was anything the same? Would Haldir remember him as vividly as he recalled that night?


	3. Mistaken Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has to wait. A lot. He ends up meeting some rather interesting characters in the meantime.

Ben steps off his flier, only to be met by a formidable looking female whose description could be none other than Kali.

“Glad you could finally make it” her sarcastic tone fairly dripping off her. 

Ben was startled to see this woman dressed in Elf clothing and barking what he could only presume were orders in no less than Hux’s annoyed tone. He wondered what the woman was saying, he didn’t recognize the dialect or accent and he remembered that Haldir had indicated surprise that he could understand Elf. This must be what the Humans on this planet spoke. Ben tried to speak slowly and clearly in case she could understand Elf, “I’m looking for Haldir. He’s an elf. Do you understand me?”

Kali was momentarily surprised that this Man spoke Sindarin, that must have been how he’d had such a quick rapport with Haldir. Arms crossed and in a defiant stance she continued to his flabbergasted face, “So. You’re the one what broke my warden. Well, you’re bloody well gonna fix him!”

Flabbergasted into silence, Ben followed the quick lady as best he could. She clearly knew these woods and made little to no attempt as much as he could see, to wait for him bumbling through the unfamiliar forest.

As she grumbled in front of him, Ben allowed himself to take in the surroundings better than he had been able to on his first visit. The woods were enchanting. Soft breezes made the trees whisper to one another, and the leaves were soft underfoot. The spring weather in the air made the forest come alive with animal activity. By the time they reached their destination, Ben was grinning like a total fool, a point which was not lost on the young woman leading him.  
“Well it’s no wonder he’s taken with ye, though you’ve a lot to learn of the wood.”

At the base of a tree the size of a planetary base, the woman stopped him. “He’ll be out presently. Don’t… do anything too strange while you’re waiting.” This last, she indicated with her eyes a pair of Elfs flanking the tree base high in branches who casually had bows hung from their sides. That casual pose that Ben saw immediately came from years of training. One false step and he would be One With The Force.

The moments turned to minutes and presently, Ben casually sat at the root of the tree and leaned against it: knees pulled up, hands dangling between his legs. He had just begun to doze off when a shadow fell across his face. The sun was behind the figure’s head, causing the hair to stand out like a fiery orange halo. “Haldir?” Ben shaded his eyes to attempt to see the figure’s face. The Elf laughed and extended a hand, pulling Ben up easily. The face resolved into a much thinner face framed in orange hair. 

“You might be surprised how often I do NOT get mistaken for my dear brother. Come, he is in his office. It may take an act of the Maker to remove him from it. Perhaps you were Sent.” This last he said with a wink and grin and Ben instantly liked this jovial brother of Haldir’s.

The redhead knocked, then pushed the door open despite no answer from the other side. He stood to one side and motioned to the door. The room bore the sparse quality of military offices across the universe, and Ben was greeted by the top of the head of a young Elf shuffling paperwork.   
“The Commander will see you shortly, please have a seat.”

Ben smirked, imagining the potential reactions Haldir might have when he realized who was waiting outside, and settled into a light meditation.


	4. A Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haldir gets the shock of his day. Ben sees a rather hilarious haircut.

Haldir had been expecting the ranger report for some time now, it wasn’t like them to keep the Wardens waiting long, especially now with so much movement in the South. Yet, as he began his new papers carefully in preparation for the rangers report, he kept being distracted by the unmistakable tingle of familiarity radiating through the doors. Irritated, he shook his head, trying to concentrate on the exact wording of the report. Normally, he didn’t stand on ceremony, but this was headed into Mirkwood, and he wanted to be certain it would be received properly. 

He didn’t notice when the errant lock of hair over his temple shifted out of its securing. It never liked to stay tied back.   
“Send the Ranger in,” Haldir called to his secretary. He ignored the response from the other side of the door. The shadow of the Ranger fell across his desk, ignore the feeling Haldir!, and he waited, pen poised, for the report. The Ranger remained irritatingly silent and Haldir looked up, about to fire off a quick retort about punctuality when it registered who he was actually seeing. 

“...Ben!?” His voice came out choked. The report forgotten, Haldir stood and looked up into the eyes of his friend from a strange dream so long ago. 

Ben's eyes sparkled at the surprise in Haldir’s voice, but when he caught sight of the stray lock of hair falling across Haldir’s brow, he let out a deep laugh that started the Elves in both rooms. Ben pointed around the hair in response to Haldir’s confusion. 

“I had forgotten your impromptu haircut,” he chuckled. The door swung open and the secretary leaned in with a look of concern, which Haldir waved away.

“Walk with me, Ben. It has been some time and we have things to discuss.” Haldir attempted to regain his dignity with his heart pounding yet. He guided them out to the garden outside the office. It was large and well maintained. Ben was singularly impressed with the wealth on this side of the galaxy. Truly, they could feed many with the bounty in this out of the way world. 

The pair passed benches and other areas of quiet contemplation before approaching a simple grassy meadow full of tiny flowers. Haldir sat and patted the grass beside him. They sat in silence for quite some time. It had been a long time since Ben had been allowed simple companionship, and he was in no rush to spoil the energy with idle chatter. Haldir seemed to be of the same mind, the two of them focusing on the pull of the force between them.


	5. Tea Party and Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben suffers through dinner with Galadriel.   
> Haldir surprises him with a staggering timeline.

Ben's heart sank along with the sun, hoping for one more moment, then one more. The tug of the Force that had brought him here, pulling him from the center of his stomach, had settled around Haldir's shoulders like an invisible cloak, drawing Ben to him in all the ways he would shift when he spoke. The angles of his chin and neck captured his attention so thoroughly, Ben had trouble concentrating on the words they spoke.   
When he could stand it no longer, he reached out to the Elf, a simple touch, brushing the errant strand from his face. Yet it broke whatever had passed between them. Haldir held his gaze with a mournful expression, then pulled away gently and stood. He extended his hand so that Ben could get up, but Ben was upset and confused. He stood on his own and stared at Haldir appraisingly.   
“Did I overstep some social custom, out here where your people are surely not checking up on you?” He asked softly, his hand sweeping the expansive hill overlooking the last flecks of sunset on the river.   
Haldir's expression flickered back to a longing, but he remained indifferent, stony even. “There is time for serious things in the day, my friend. But the sun sinks and you must sleep.”  
Ben squashed the urge to insist. To make a show of resistance and demand an explanation. That would have been him ten years ago. Before he learned to control his temper and his urges. Ben turned away from the magical sunset and followed Haldir back inside. 

Ben settled into a guest room, Haldir returned to his office. There was not truly so much planning and work to be done, but this provided him with a quiet place to be with his thoughts. It had been so very long since the first time Ben had visited, and each time he returned it had spun Haldir's life like a tornado. But the world was going to the younger races now. The Eldar would soon return to the West, and Haldir would see his parents again. It pained him each time Ben appeared, yet it hardened him against the inevitable loss as well.

Ben lay in the soft sheets, staring at the canopy above. He knew the time was not right, but the urge to run to Haldir was overwhelmingly powerful. He closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep. May clearer minds prevail tomorrow… the vision stole softly into his concentration. It was not sleep. Nor was it the pairing he had experienced with Rey. These images were his past, yet his present and at once none of his own. He was with Haldir, loving him. They were sharing a life in this small world. Ben heard a Call. It was Rey and he had to leave. Over and over again, the vision played out. Always, Haldir was shocked to see him, but age and events showed in Haldir's appearance, showed time progressing quickly as Ben came and left repeatedly. Ben remained young, the same age he was now, while Haldir wasted away. Ben woke from the fevered dream, covered in sweat, heart racing, a shout in his throat. The door was being knocked on. 

“Yes?” Ben wasn’t ready for strangers to see him quite yet, but he was unsure of the proper protocol.   
“Haldir will see you when you are ready,” the reply came, the voice a gentle but firm tone.

Ben dressed in his clothes from the night before, attempting to brush a bit of leaves and trail dust from the hems of his pants. It was bent over like this when he felt her strong presence. If he looked up, she would be right in front of him, staring with her all knowing eyes. He jerked his head up, and met with the empty room and closed door. Still, her eyes bored into his head. Her voice came like a terrible wraith, “Will you stay with him and leave this world? Will you leave again and lose him for all time?” Ben’s heart pounded in his chest as her eyes bored into him, and he clutched at the frame of the bed for support.   
“I’ll find my way to him, one way or another!” Be growled low at the apparition in his mind. 

A voice came from the other side of the door. “Do you not wish an escort then?” He opened it and the red haired brother, all smiles, made his way into Ben's room.

“No, it was nothing… I heard a voice…” Ben trailed off, feeling rather silly explaining visions. The young elf’s laugh tinkled through the air like bells. “The lady Galadriel has a frightening effect on many people, I expect.” As they walked to a dining area where Ben was assured he would meet Haldir in time, he reflected on this powerful Lady who could project images into the minds of her people. If she was the Lady to whom Haldir had been referring in their first meeting, it was no wonder Haldir had assured him of her protective magic. 

Still, Ben wondered about the change in this world since his first arrival. The strong force he’d sensed the first time was now localized to this small forest and one ancient building. The world appeared to have suffered some Great War in the ten years he had been gone. It had all gone by so quickly, how would ten years effect his friendship with the Elves? They certainly seemed serious toward him, but he had to admit he hadn’t really gotten much impression outside his interaction with Haldir. 

Ben entered the room after his escort, expecting… well, not THIS. He had experience eating in a military hall and had seen the finery in many worlds with palaces and nobles. He hadn’t expected to enter a small, pretty garden with a simple table set for six. Haldir was seated next to a golden haired elf who could only have been their other brother. Across from them were two stately elves, a man and lady. As he entered the room, the Lady turned her gaze toward him, and his nightmares returned in a rush. She spoke softly, but her voice carried across the garden.   
“You return to us once more, Ben Solo.” Inside his mind, her voice continued, “Will you remain this time, or return once again and leave us forever?” Her icy eyes pierced him as he faltered in his step, but her face retained a tranquil welcome.

Ben was ushered reluctantly to a seat between Haldir and Rumíl. He stuttered out thanks as his plate and cup were filled in turns by those around him, but they were engaged deeply in some conversation that he was obviously intruding upon, so taking his queue from Rumíl, he began to eat, and waited patiently, listening to the elves discussion.

Haldir made a point of smiling politely and engaging Ben in casual chat toward the end of the meal. The rest stood and took their leave, but he and Ben remained in the garden. Once again, Haldir invited Ben on a walk, but this time it was to a large wooded glade. Many Elves were preparing in some way for what was obviously a long trip. As Ben stared in awe, Haldir sighed. 

Ben glanced at him. Despite his earlier insistence to the voice in his head, now that Haldir was here beside him, and looking serious as a grave, he didn’t know what to say. There was tension. A feeling that time was slipping by without his knowledge, and he was grasping at the last moments available. 

“Haldir,” he murmured, trying to break into the reverie without shocking the Elf. “I feel the time slipping by to speak of things. I understand it has been a while since I left, and this world has gone through something… but I feel like I belong here… at the risk of overstepping, I feel like I belong with you.” He paused then, holding his breath. His heart pounded as he started intently at the side of Haldir's perfectly chiseled face. Here it was: he had once again laid his heart bare at the feet of a stranger. He could only hope that the Force had been right in drawing him here.

The faint shimmer of a tear falling from Haldir's golden lashes stopped Ben's breath. The Warden kept his face pointed toward the line of preparing Elves. He had prepared this speech so carefully and yet when it came right down to saying it, how could he turn Ben away? At the same time, his experience with the past iterations of Ben’s return left little alternative. He would love this beautiful man, and they would have a life, and then Ben would be called by some force and he would leave with the promise of returning when he finished some mission. And Haldir would never see that man again. The first two times were confusing and shocking. It was no less distressing after, but Haldir had begun to accept the fate that Ben's existence had put in his hands. Yet this time was different. Haldir could not stay in this world and give up Valinor for a few years with Ben, no matter what he felt. At the same time, he could not ask Ben to give up whatever the quest that pulled him so.

Ben didn’t know what he had done or said that would make Haldir actually cry. Even the drunken state of their campfire ten years ago didn’t move him to more than thoughtful and urgent speech. And laughter, so much laughter. Ben would give his heart to see a smile on the warden's face again. “What ails you so, Haldir? When I saw you in your office, you seemed happy enough to see me, even if I surprised you. Now…” He gestured helplessly at Haldir's cheek, stopping short of touching the glistening trail. 

Haldir smiled wanly, it had been so clear to him just a moment ago. He would curse fate or destiny for bringing him this beautiful creature to him, dangling a happy life in front of him over and over again and then whisking it away in the blink of an eye. But at the same time, Haldir could not bring himself to regret any of the moments he had with Ben, however painful the parting. And so, with a heavy heart, he told Ben that the elves would be leaving this world and riding across the water to join their loved ones. It was a land of eternity, and not a place for a mortal. 

“There have been some, those favored by the elves for great lives. But those with a future yet to play out in this world simply cannot sacrifice it for any amount of time in Valinor.” He paused and then with great pain in his eyes, he continued.  
“I would have at one time sacrificed my immortality to live with you, here in the world, my friend…”

Ben's heart lightened just a bit from the fist that was clenched around it, hearing Haldir call him friend for the first time since he arrived. Somewhere deep inside had been a nagging feeling that ten years had changed his memory, or that he had imagined the entire thing. But the feeling of doom that Haldir was spelling out sounded so final, he clutched at any straw.  
“What changed, Haldir? Has ten years been so very long? I see this world has gone through some drastic change. Isn’t there anything at all I can do or say?”

Haldir's gaze flicked back to his people before resting once again on Ben's face. He deserved the truth, and he deserved Haldir's full attention for that. “In truth, Ben, you have returned to me many times. You are not aware of them, except perhaps in strange dreams when you sleep here near the powers of the Lady Galadriel…” again the name of the powerful Elven woman. Ben shivered at the memory of her voice in his head.   
“Each time you returned, you had a story to tell - of searching, of war, even defeat. Each time, you reached me and fell into my arms. I know what you would say, my dear friend. Even before you say it. I know, and it breaks my heart to not allow you to love me once again. To fall into your arms and be one as we should be.”


	6. The West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haldir tells Ben what’s tearing him apart.   
> Galadriel offers the solution.

Ben could hardly breathe. Every moment Haldir spoke it was like a golden promise being burned to acid in front of him. Haldir's words were both beautiful and painful and he wanted to scream to him to stop, yet grab him and crush their bodies together. He clutched at his chest and stepped back to find footing. Haldir reaches for him without hesitation, grabbing his arm to steady him.

“Steady, my friend. I know how hard this is. It has been thus for me many times now.”

“But… how!?” Ben whispered. He had only been gone ten years. “I can accept alternate timelines… something had to have gone strange with the force that one day… but I have not been gone long enough for all this memory!” He quieted, “have I?”

Haldir let go of Ben's arm and gently held his hands. “It has been one hundred years, Ben.”  
Ben laughed in shock. It was impossible. People didn’t even live that long. Haldir's face was a picture of resigned misery. “I know it is hard to believe. I have repeated myself half a dozen times to you. Yet you remember nothing. Always you are called away by a force stronger than you can resist. Always… you insist you will return to me. And I never see you again. Not that person. Not the Ben who knew me.”

Ben reeled. It was all so much to take. He sat down heavily in the soft grass. Haldir joined him. Sitting as close as he dared. It all sounded so defeatist. Whatever Ben said next, he felt would be the last chance somehow. Haldir's mind was made up. He would go with his people, somewhere that Ben couldn’t follow for fear of… of what though? Ben had finished his task. He had completed his training with Rey and this was his call. He knew that he would never leave this tiny planet.  
“Haldir,” intensity ringing through his deep voice, “whatever happened before, that was not ME. Maybe some other, failed version but not ME. I have no unfinished business except you. I will not leave this place again. I know it is not my place to ask you to give up what you are going to… but don’t mistake my intent as any kind of reason for your choice.”

It was Haldir's turn to be surprised. Granted, each Ben had a different story to tell, but this one was far different than any he had heard. He wanted more details. He worried he would regret asking later, as it would only make the decision that much harder, but this Ben had something different about him, a sense of calm that none of the others had previously. Hesitantly, he reached out and brushed a black curl from Ben’s stricken face. “Tell me your story, Ben,” he said softly, “what of Rey? Did you find what you were searching for?”

Ben drew a shuddering breath. This was his moment to show Haldir what he meant to Ben… and he wanted to talk about the war. Well, if it proved that Ben had nothing left to return to, then he would do so.

Ben started with the morning he woke on the equalizer, Haldir’s braid tied to his arm. He had fought to be with Rey, fought the First order, fought Snoke. Then they had trained and he had fought his own demons. The culmination of the war shocked Haldir to his core. How could this be? Was Ben even truly here? But yes, he was here in the flesh, as solid as the first time they had met and all the times between.

“So you see, my dear friend, while it is never my place or anything Ben my intent to make your decision, you should know that there is nothing left for me there. This is where I truly belong. Here on this world and I hope with all my heart, with you.”

Ben was speaking with such intensity, their foreheads leaned together for moments until Haldir spoke with a heavy sigh. “It is as I feared. I cannot simply leave you here in this world, but there is not a place for you in Valinor. We must speak to Lady Galadriel.” Ben shuddered again at the intensity of her gaze in his mind's eye. Still, he followed Haldir back through the woods to a secluded garden. The Lady was there, contemplating a basin filled with what Ben presumed was water. She beckoned the two near and spoke without looking up. 

“I have no power over a decision made. The invitation is there for the asking, but the decision lies within your own heart, Haldir.”

The two were shocked. She hadn’t even been asked. They left the garden hastily and Haldir brought Ben to his temporary room. 

“It’s not what I am accustomed to, but it serves its function.” Ben ignores the simple room. He seized his opportunity, throwing caution to the wind. 

“It’s OUR decision, Haldir, that’s what she said!” He rumbled, grabbing Haldir’s arms in a gentle grip. His thumbs drew circles on the elf’s biceps, focusing on anything but those deep pools of Haldir's glistening eyes. He made the mistake of focusing instead on his sumptuous lips. They parted, and Ben gasped as he heard his name fall from them. He waited, and when nothing else followed, risked a glance at Haldir’s eyes. 

Haldir’s mind reeled with the opportunity now presented: Ben had nothing keeping him in the mortal realm, and Haldir wanted nothing more than to spend the remainder of the time they had together with this beautiful man. The small tinge of pain he would feel when at last Ben went wherever it was that mortals went when their bodies stopped was a small price to pay for the love he had been promised and then denied so many times.

“Ben, I cannot deny myself any further. You devour me!” Haldir groaned, pulling the taller man to him.


End file.
